The other morning, I logged into Facebook to see what my friends were up to. I nearly spilled my coffee when I read enthusiastic comments from my guy friends on my wall:
"Nice choice!"
"I almost got down on one knee after seeing that first one."
"There's got to be an easier way to remove your thong than that!"
In disbelief, I looked closer and saw that they were commenting on 4 photos it looked like I uploaded to Flickr. The closely cropped photos were of a woman doing some contortionist tricks with her high heels and a skimpy thong. What?! I quickly clicked through and landed on the Flickr page for an exhibitionist female in Italy who has the same Flickr user name as me. The mistake was mine, as I'd tried linking up my Flickr photos to my Facebook page. The instructions weren't precise. I entered my account's "user name," like it said to, but it pulled photos from her "screen name." It's a loop hole the size of the grand canyon that two people can end up with the same names that way, but I'm chalking this one up to Mercury being retrograde. My computer has been playing tricks on me all week.
I cannot tell you how relieved I was that I'd previously made the decision to keep my business and personal friends separate on Facebook! It was embarrassing enough that my friends saw it. After the initial shock, I roared with laughter at the realization that the guys actually thought I posted those pictures. It was a close call. I would have been mortified if that had happened on a professional networking site.
So while that humiliation was self-inflicted, another big reason you should keep your Facebook page separate from business is that you can't control what your friends write on your pages. It's fun as a virtual cocktail party, where you can exchange jokes, rants, and those silly quiz results. But you just don't have the same level of privacy control as on other social networking sites. An inside-joke your best friend from high school makes on your wall might be misconstrued by someone who just met you. And do you really want to feel like you have to moderate comments on your own page? Too much work. Facebook is meant to be casual, not corporate.
The whole phenomena of social networking is built around the idea of living and working more transparently. People like to know who they're interacting with. I think it's a compensation for the fact that we spend less time in person now and more of our communications take place on the internet. I like that whole concept and lead a pretty transparent life. I'm comfortable sharing my personal blog and some of my Flickr photos with anyone who wants to get to know me better. Yet I think it's better to not mix all of one's social groups. LinkedIn and Naymz are much better designed for business use anyway.
Here is a must-read article on how to set your Facebook privacy controls: 10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know
So how do you keep your Facebook personal friends separate from business without hurting anyone's feelings? It can feel a little awkward to tell someone you don't want to be their "friend." In real life, you probably are friends with your customers. I am. Yet you've got to put in a boundary somewhere and it actually feels easier if you have a standard policy, rather than pick and choose. That's especially true as your personal friends might also be friends with your work-related friends. Even if your other friends are mixing business and personal on Facebook, I suggest you make a decision about the true context of how you know someone. It's better to error on the side of more privacy than less.
Here is what I suggest to set a better personal vs. work boundary:
1. If you've already mixed up business and personal on Facebook, don't be shy about undoing it. If you "un-friend" someone in Facebook, they won't receive a notification. So if it's just a couple people that you don't interact with anyways, they won't even notice you're gone. If you're still worried about their feelings, then just send them a note explaining that you've made the decision to separate business and personal. Trust me, they'll understand.
2. Create a professional networking page instead. Then you can explain that you still want to link with them without dropping the connection altogether. I like LinkedIn best, but Naymz is is good, too.
3. When business friends ask to add you on Facebook, politely decline. Be bold. Don't just ignore their request, because people will notice your lack of response. Instead have a friendly reply at the ready, explaining your decision and suggest you connect on your professional networking site.
4. If you haven't already, set all your Facebook settings to "friends only." Follow along with this article that will walk you through it step by step.
Have you had an embarassing Facebook or other social networking moment? Post your story in the comments box below. We could all use a good laugh and learn from your mistakes. I know what I learned: showing your thong is embarassingly wrong, whether it's your thong or someone else's!
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